The
Acadumby Awards, better known as the Oscars, is one of the stupidest,
phoniest, cheesiest, and most ridiculous annual events (of any kind) in
the world - that much we know. However, what very few of you do know is
that every year Hollywood honours actresses with the obscure but to me
most prestigious award of them all - the Best Tits Oscar.
I am quite pleased (and a little proud too I have to admit) to inform you that I have been the Chairman of this award ceremony since its inception in 1968. That year, Hollywood realized that decadence had finally hit the big screens to the extent where there were enough boobs to validate the existence of such an award. Until then, bare tits were rarely seen in films, due to heavy censorship laws, the fact that there were less sluts in show-biz, and because the Kremlin-pushed hippie revolution hadn't yet happened i.e. brought about a general lowering of standards.
Very importantly, the breastal winners aren't decided by the usual 5,000 cretins who infest Tinseltown and vote for those idiotic regular Oscars. As a result, factors such as political orientation, nepotism, and pat-on-the-back favouritism do not influence the outcome in any way. As Chairman of these awards, I personally handpick the 5,000 voters, and I can assure you that they are all male and straight. There's none of that nonsense of gays and women deciding what does or doesn't constitute a beautiful female body, as is the case with Hollywood and the fashion world these days (which is why we have increasingly ugly women celebs such as Jennifer Aniston - who has very shit tits, as well, I might add).
How did I pick the 5,000 voters? I'd decided that the best men for the job are chronic masturbators.
RULES: Documentaries, movie shorts, music clips, and porn are not eligible. Silicone implants are banned from competing, so you won't be seeing any of those; breast implants are a form of cheating, but more importantly they're extremely ugly. All nominees get their breasts hand-tested, in cases where it's not 100% sure whether their tits are real or not. Asking them whether their boobs are fake isn't enough since, as we all know, actresses tend to lie a lot - and not just on casting couches.
LAYOUT: Each year shows ALL the outstanding tits. Actresses with average or shitty tits are not included, no matter how famous they may be. FIVE of these are selected to be actual nominees, just like with the regular shitty Oscars. The winner and the other four nominees are all marked with bold orange lettering. For those of you who still don't get it: these 5 are the best of the year. All the candidates - nominees and non-nominees - aren't listed in any particular order, except the winner who is shown at the end of each year's list.
So now that you know who picked the winners and what the criteria are, check out the lucky gals who got to carry home these prestigious awards for showing their great tits to the general public.
A more primitive version of the Best Tits Oscar list had first been posted by me in 2009.
I am quite pleased (and a little proud too I have to admit) to inform you that I have been the Chairman of this award ceremony since its inception in 1968. That year, Hollywood realized that decadence had finally hit the big screens to the extent where there were enough boobs to validate the existence of such an award. Until then, bare tits were rarely seen in films, due to heavy censorship laws, the fact that there were less sluts in show-biz, and because the Kremlin-pushed hippie revolution hadn't yet happened i.e. brought about a general lowering of standards.
Very importantly, the breastal winners aren't decided by the usual 5,000 cretins who infest Tinseltown and vote for those idiotic regular Oscars. As a result, factors such as political orientation, nepotism, and pat-on-the-back favouritism do not influence the outcome in any way. As Chairman of these awards, I personally handpick the 5,000 voters, and I can assure you that they are all male and straight. There's none of that nonsense of gays and women deciding what does or doesn't constitute a beautiful female body, as is the case with Hollywood and the fashion world these days (which is why we have increasingly ugly women celebs such as Jennifer Aniston - who has very shit tits, as well, I might add).
How did I pick the 5,000 voters? I'd decided that the best men for the job are chronic masturbators.
RULES: Documentaries, movie shorts, music clips, and porn are not eligible. Silicone implants are banned from competing, so you won't be seeing any of those; breast implants are a form of cheating, but more importantly they're extremely ugly. All nominees get their breasts hand-tested, in cases where it's not 100% sure whether their tits are real or not. Asking them whether their boobs are fake isn't enough since, as we all know, actresses tend to lie a lot - and not just on casting couches.
LAYOUT: Each year shows ALL the outstanding tits. Actresses with average or shitty tits are not included, no matter how famous they may be. FIVE of these are selected to be actual nominees, just like with the regular shitty Oscars. The winner and the other four nominees are all marked with bold orange lettering. For those of you who still don't get it: these 5 are the best of the year. All the candidates - nominees and non-nominees - aren't listed in any particular order, except the winner who is shown at the end of each year's list.
So now that you know who picked the winners and what the criteria are, check out the lucky gals who got to carry home these prestigious awards for showing their great tits to the general public.
A more primitive version of the Best Tits Oscar list had first been posted by me in 2009.
Oscars For Best Tits:
2008-2009
Best 100 Metal Albums:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdIE6hh6U1g
2008.
And The Best Boobs Oscar Goes To...
2009.
And The Trophy For The Finest Movie Tits Goes To...
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| Marisa Tomei in "The Wrestler" |
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| Salome Stevenin in "Comme une etoile dans la nuit" |
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| Robin Sydney in "Wicked Lake" + "Garden Party" |
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| Raquel Hevia in "Cenizas del cielo" |
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| Sarah Polley in "John Adams" |
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| Patricia Chraskova in "A l'est de moi" |
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| Leonor Watling in "The Oxford Murders" |
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| Teresa Palmer in "Restraint" |
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| Laura Ramsey in "The Ruins" |
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| Tamara Garea in "199 recetas para ser feliz" |
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| Kate Groombridge in "Virgin Territory" |
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| Isabelle Blais in "Borderline" |
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| Karina Smulders in "Bride Flight" |
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| Jessica Morris in "Senior Skip Day" (left) + "Role Models" (right) |
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| Gillian Jacobs in "Choke" |
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| Irina Potapenko in "Revanche" |
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| Esme Bianco in "Chemical Wedding" |
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| Deborah Francois in "Female Agents" |
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| Charlee Danielson in "Bad Biology" |
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| Tina Krause in "Bad Biology" |
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| Penelope Cruz in "Elegy" |
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| Chantel Silvain in "Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" |
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| Ava Santana in ""Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay" |
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| Lea Seydoux in "La belle personne" |
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| Carla Alapont in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" |
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| Adelaide Leroux in "Home" |
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| Jelena Jensen in "Bad Biology" & Hayley Marie Norman in "Crash: los muertos" |
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| Marie Gillain in "Female Agents" & Mary-Louise Parker in "Weeds" |
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| Kathryn Aagesen in "Midnight Movie" & Nina Hoss in "Anonyma - Eine Frau in Berlin" |
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| Marina Gatell in "Little Ashes" & Gemma Arterton in "Three and Out" |
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| Emily Watson in "Synecdoche, New York" & Nadia Becker in "Polizeiruf 110" |
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| Christa Moller Nielsen in "Craig" |
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| Vica Kerekes in "Nestyda" |
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| Lindsay Wray in "Orgies and the Meaning of Life" |
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| Natalie Pemberton in "Underbelly" |
And The Best Boobs Oscar Goes To...
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| Zoe Kazan for "Revolutionary Road" |
2009.
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| Rebecca Davies in "Desperate Romantics" |
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| Paz de la Huerta in "The Limits of Control" (photos) + "Enter the Void" |
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| Pauline Etienne in "Le bel age" |
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| Monique DuPree (black one) & Zoe Hunter Lee (white one) in "Bachelor Party in the Bungalow of the Damned" |
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| Olivia Alaina May in "18 Year-Old Virgin" + "Party Down" (last photo) |
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| Lorianne Dye in "Kicking the Dog" |
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| Lola Naymark in "L'armee du crime" (ginger pics) + "Dans tes bras" (black hair pics) |
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| Kotone Amamiya in "Red Nights" |
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| Debbie Kopacz in "Grave Danger" (photos) + "Witchmaster General" |
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| Julianna Guill in "Friday the 13th" |
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| Julia Jentsch in "Effi Briest" |
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| Irina Voronina in "The Casino Job" |
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| Giovanna Mezzogiorno in "Vincere" & Heather Graham in "Boogie Woogie" (photo) + "The Hangover" |
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| Gabrielle Chapin in "The Final Destination" |
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| Ruth Bradley in "In Her Skin" |
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| Nathalia Dill in "Paraisos" & Lynda Wiesmeier in "Imps" |
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| Camille Fancea & Julia Maraval in "Beauregard" |
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| Eva Amurri in "Californication" (daughter of Tits Oscars alumni Susan Sarandon) |
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| Diane Carr in "Californication" |
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| Doona Bae in "Kuki ningyo" |
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| Elena Anaya in "Hierro" |
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| Deja Kreutzberg in "Sorority Row" |
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| Deborah Francois in "My Queen Karo" |
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| Crystal Baker in "18 Year-Old Virgin" & Penelope Cruz in "Los abrazos rotos" |
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| Carice van Houten in "Stricken" |
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| Amanda Seyfried in "Chloe" |
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| Kierston Wareing in "The Case of Unfaithful Klara" & Robin Sydney in "Skull Heads" |
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| Lyne Renne in "The Hessen Affair" & Gemma Arterton in "The Disappearance of Alice Creed" |
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| Claire Keim in "Eternelle" & Armelle Deutsch in "Pigalle, la nuit" |
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| Anna Kalaitzidou in "Kynodontas" & Sabine Timoteo in "Kill Daddy Good Night" |
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| Bree Robertson in "Fragment" & Violante Placido in "Moana" |
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| Alice Eve in "Crossing Over" |
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| Aggeliki Papoulia in "Kynodontas" |
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| Christina Ricci in "AfterLife" & Ok-Bin Kim in "Thirst" |
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| Coralie Revel in "Louix XV, le soleil noir" |
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| Alessandra Muccioli in "Ce n'e per Tutti" |
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| Cheryl Lyone in "Run! Bitch! Run!" |
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| Christina DeRosa in "Run! Bitch! Run!" |
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| Julie Ann Shrode in "Run! Bitch! Run!" |
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| Ivet Corvea in "Run! Bitch! Run!" & Erin Marie Hogan in "Paranormal Entity" |
And The Trophy For The Finest Movie Tits Goes To...
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| Ana de Armas for "Sex, Party & Lies" |
Best Tits Oscars 2010-2011:
Best 100 Metal Albums:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdIE6hh6U1g
Have You Ever Done An I.Q. Test?
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