The
Acadumby Awards, better known as the Oscars, is one of the stupidest,
phoniest, cheesiest, and most ridiculous annual events (of any kind) in
the world - that much we know. However, what very few of you do know is
that every year Hollywood honours actresses with the obscure but to me
most prestigious award of them all - the Best Tits Oscar.
I am quite pleased (and a little proud too I have to admit) to inform you that I have been the Chairman of this award ceremony since its inception in 1968. That year, Hollywood realized that decadence had finally hit the big screens to the extent where there were enough boobs to validate the existence of such an award. Until then, bare tits were rarely seen in films, due to heavy censorship laws, the fact that there were less sluts in show-biz, and because the Kremlin-pushed hippie revolution hadn't yet happened i.e. brought about a general lowering of standards.
Very importantly, the breastal winners aren't decided by the usual 5,000 imbeciles who infest Tinseltown and vote for those idiotic regular Oscars. As a result, factors such as political orientation, nepotism, and pat-on-the-back favouritism do not influence the outcome in any way. As Chairman of these awards, I personally handpick the 5,000 voters, and I can assure you that they are all male and straight. There's none of that nonsense of gays and women deciding what does or doesn't constitute a beautiful female body, as is the case with Hollywood and the fashion world these days (which is why we have increasingly ugly women celebs such as Jennifer Aniston - who has very shit tits, as well, I might add).
How did I pick the 5,000 voters? I'd decided that the best men for the job are chronic masturbators.
RULES: Documentaries, movie shorts, music clips, and porn are not eligible. Silicone implants are banned from competing, so you won't be seeing any of those; breast implants are a form of cheating, but more importantly they're extremely ugly. All nominees get their breasts hand-tested, in cases where it's not 100% sure whether their tits are real or not. Asking them whether their boobs are fake isn't enough since, as we all know, actresses tend to lie a lot - and not just on casting couches.
LAYOUT: Each year shows ALL the outstanding tits. Actresses with average or shitty tits are not included, no matter how famous they may be. FIVE of these are selected to be actual nominees, just like with the regular shitty Oscars. The winner and the other four nominees are all marked with bold orange lettering. For those of you who still don't get it: these 5 are the best of the year. All the candidates - nominees and non-nominees - aren't listed in any particular order, except the winner who is shown at the end of each year's list.
So now that you know who picked the winners and what the criteria are, check out the lucky gals who got to carry home these prestigious awards for showing their great tits to the general public.
A more primitive version of the Best Tits Oscar list had first been posted by me in 2009.
2002.
And The Owner Of The Year's Best Tits Is...
2003.
And The Actress With The Best Tits This Year Is...
I am quite pleased (and a little proud too I have to admit) to inform you that I have been the Chairman of this award ceremony since its inception in 1968. That year, Hollywood realized that decadence had finally hit the big screens to the extent where there were enough boobs to validate the existence of such an award. Until then, bare tits were rarely seen in films, due to heavy censorship laws, the fact that there were less sluts in show-biz, and because the Kremlin-pushed hippie revolution hadn't yet happened i.e. brought about a general lowering of standards.
Very importantly, the breastal winners aren't decided by the usual 5,000 imbeciles who infest Tinseltown and vote for those idiotic regular Oscars. As a result, factors such as political orientation, nepotism, and pat-on-the-back favouritism do not influence the outcome in any way. As Chairman of these awards, I personally handpick the 5,000 voters, and I can assure you that they are all male and straight. There's none of that nonsense of gays and women deciding what does or doesn't constitute a beautiful female body, as is the case with Hollywood and the fashion world these days (which is why we have increasingly ugly women celebs such as Jennifer Aniston - who has very shit tits, as well, I might add).
How did I pick the 5,000 voters? I'd decided that the best men for the job are chronic masturbators.
RULES: Documentaries, movie shorts, music clips, and porn are not eligible. Silicone implants are banned from competing, so you won't be seeing any of those; breast implants are a form of cheating, but more importantly they're extremely ugly. All nominees get their breasts hand-tested, in cases where it's not 100% sure whether their tits are real or not. Asking them whether their boobs are fake isn't enough since, as we all know, actresses tend to lie a lot - and not just on casting couches.
LAYOUT: Each year shows ALL the outstanding tits. Actresses with average or shitty tits are not included, no matter how famous they may be. FIVE of these are selected to be actual nominees, just like with the regular shitty Oscars. The winner and the other four nominees are all marked with bold orange lettering. For those of you who still don't get it: these 5 are the best of the year. All the candidates - nominees and non-nominees - aren't listed in any particular order, except the winner who is shown at the end of each year's list.
So now that you know who picked the winners and what the criteria are, check out the lucky gals who got to carry home these prestigious awards for showing their great tits to the general public.
A more primitive version of the Best Tits Oscar list had first been posted by me in 2009.
Oscars For Best Tits: 2002-2003
2002.
 |
| Leonor Watling in "Talk to Her" (first) + "Beyond Desire" (second) |
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| Mina Tander in "Blackberry" |
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| Martha Higareda in "Amar te duele" |
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| Roxanne Mesquida in "Sexes tres opposes" (above) + "Sex Is Comedy" (below) |
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| Judy Greer in "Adaptation" (left) & Janet McTeer in "The Intended" |
 |
| Heather Graham in "Killing Me Softly" |
 |
| Claire Keim in "Ferocious" (left) + "Il giovane Casanova" (right) |
 |
| Amanda Righetti in "Angel Blade" & Julie Delarme in "Mademoiselle Else" |
 |
| Elizabeth Cromwell in "The Strangler's Wife" & Ludivine Sagnier in "Swimming Pool" |
 |
| Pascale Bussieres in "La turbulence des fluides" (first two) & Valentina Cervi in "L'anima gemella" |
 |
| Marion Cotillard in "A Private Affair", Jodi Fleisher in "Sex And The Teenager" & Maria Bonnevie in "I Am Dina" |
 |
| Els Dottermans in "Meisje" |
 |
| Heike Makatsch in "Die Affare Semmeling" |
 |
| Nahanni Johnstone in "Infested" |
 |
| Margot Gagnon in "Skulls 2" & Natalia Sokolova in "Boat Trip" |
 |
| Valeria Bruni Tedeschi in "If I Were A Rich Man" & Coralie Revel in "Choses secretes" |
 |
| Diane Lane in "Unfaithful" & Helena Noguerra in "If I Were A Rich Man" |
 |
| Ellen van der Koogh in "Swingers" (upper left) & Hayley Keenan in "Teenage Caveman" |
 |
| Tiffany Limos in "Teenage Caveman" + "Ken Park" (last photo) |
 |
| Crystal Celeste Grant in "Teenage Caveman" |
 |
| Agnieszka Pasko in "The Naked: A Psychological Film" |
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| Nancy O'Brien in "The Backlot Murders" |
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| Tina Krause in "Body Shop" |
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| Katja Schuurman in "Oysters At Nam Kee's" |
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| Doona Bae in "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance" |
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| Julia Maraval in "You'll Get Over It" |
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| Els van Peborgh in "Alias" |
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| Eileen Walsh & Dorothy Noone in "The Magdalene Sisters" |
 |
| Anna Galiena in "Oltre il confine" (first row) + "Senso '45" (the rest) |
And The Owner Of The Year's Best Tits Is...
 |
| Giulia De Gresy for "Senso '45" |
2003.
 |
| Monika Verbutaite in "Endangered Species" |
 |
| Sophie Quinton in "Who Killed Bambi?" |
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| Annett Renneberg in "Devot" |
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| Naomi Watts in "21 Grams" |
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| Kelly King in "The Janitor" |
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| Lidia San Jose in "Cosa de brujas" |
 |
| Emily Mortimer in "The Sleeping Dictionary" (bottom row) + "Young Adam" (top row) |
 |
| Rachelle Williams in "Expendable" |
 |
| Emeline Becuwe in "L'amour au soleil" |
 |
| Chloe Sevigny in "The Brown Bunny" |
 |
| Jacinda (Real World London) Barrett in "The Human Stain" |
 |
| Katya Santos in "Sukdulan" + "Sex Drive" |
 |
| Meg Ryan in "In The Cut" & Amy Lindsay in "Final Examination" |
 |
| Tusdi Rodriguez in "The Janitor" & Chloe Hunter in "Spun" |
 |
| Mercedes Cecchetto in "Une grande fille comme toi" |
 |
| Laura Osswald in "Klinik unter Palmen" |
 |
| Karina Kraushaar in "Klinik unter Palmen" |
 |
| Katja Danowski in "Herr Lehmann" |
 |
| Lavinia Wilson in "Gun-Shy" |
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| Joanna Page in "Love Actually" |
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| Marie Baumer in "Der alte Affe Angst" |
 |
| Stephanie Christine Medina in "The Janitor" & Kristina Hughes in "Old School" |
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| Toni Collette in "Japanese Story" |
 |
| Annika Murjahn in "Der letzte Zeuge" & Myles Hernandez in "First Time" |
 |
| Carice van Houten in "Father's Affair", Josie Davis in "Sonny" |
 |
| Helen Mirren in "Calendar Girls" (upper left) + "The Roman Spring of Mrs. Stone" (the rest) |
 |
| Leslie Orr in "The Manson Family" |
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| Manuela Arcuri in "Cose de brujas" |
 |
| Stefania Rocca in "La vita come viene" & Veronica Sanchez in "South From Granada" |
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| Jenya Lano in "Stealing Candy" |
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| Isild le Besco in "The Cost of Living" (left) + "La maison du canal" (right) |
 |
| Zita Gorog in "Den of Lions" & Anna Friel in "Watermelon" |
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| Manuela Martelli in "B-Happy" & Franziska Petri in "Tage des Sturms" |
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| Kristin Proctor in "The Wire" |
And The Actress With The Best Tits This Year Is...
 |
| Eva Green for "The Dreamers" |
Best Tits Oscars 2004-2005:
http://vjetropevsoscars.blogspot.rs/2016/03/oscars-for-best-tits-2004-2005.html
http://vjetropevsoscars.blogspot.rs/2016/03/oscars-for-best-tits-2004-2005.html
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